Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The bad and the ugly or can I make it alone in Costa Rica

Relationships everywhere fail. Mine did in Costa Rica. Mario and I are no longer together and I am coping, but barely. I don't want to go into details and circumstances, but I do want to share a bit of what I have learned:
  1. You have rights as a foreigner in Costa Rica. He believed he would have more rights than me because he is Tico. He was wrong.
  2. The police come quickly when called and can actually find your house even though you give them the wrong address. Understand here there is no 15 Maple Drive. We live 800 meters north of Trapiche Nayo, not 300 as I told them. We also don't live on the main road, but apparently people know where we live because they asked and they found us.
  3. The police don't mess around and come up with clever solutions to difficult situations.
  4. When you are down people come out of the woodwork to make sure you are OK and to help you. Without a cedula (or ID card) you can't get a phone here. Because of this my phone and internet was in Mario's name, since we are no longer together I needed to find another person to help me and FAST since I need them to work. I had at least 5 offers to assist me in getting the stuff I needed. I have offers and suggestions for a gardener to take care of the gardens and a maid if I think I need one. I have been getting tons of texts and emails from people I have met here asking what they can do to help me get through this. I never saw such an outpouring of affection and good wishes when thigs got screwed up in my life before.
  5. Setting up an association allows you to get a phone, a bank account and health insurance (well this is what I am told, I am in the process and will see if  it is true)
  6. Even the best laid plans can come crashing down at any moment, always have an alternate plan. I unfortunately did not, luckily I am devising one at the moment.
I plan to stay here even though my original dreams have been shattered. I am getting a LOT of pressure from family and friends in the states to move back there, but truthfully I really love it here, with or without Mario. I am going to have to learn to do things on my own, Mario had helped me with so much, but if he could do it so can I. I plan to come out of this stronger and independent, and I will make a life for myself.
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7 comments:

  1. UnknownMay 6, 2011 at 12:35 PM

    Hang in there. If you want to stay, things usually have a way of working out..... sending good vibes your way.

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  2. AnonymousMay 14, 2011 at 9:55 AM

    I'm very sorry to hear this ... no me conoces, pero he estado leyendo tu blog por meses. Soy estadounidense con planes para mudarme a CR en julio ... para vivir con mi novio tico. A decir verdad, había planeado contactarte antes de la mudanza, simplemente porque esta situación no es común (me refiero a las relaciones gringa/tico). De verdad, es un gran cambio, un gran decisión, salir de un país por otro ... he estado tratando pensar en cada posibilidad, para prepararme para cualquier situación, pero ... nunca se sabe lo que pueda pasar, no? Me doy cuenta que necesito educarme de muchas cosas. Pero bueno ... sólo quería que supieras que me sentí tan mal al leer tu post, porque había estado "rooting" para ustedes desde lejos. Un abrazo.

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  3. Mary LynnMay 15, 2011 at 9:39 AM

    muchisma gracias.

    ReplyDelete
  4. JenMay 18, 2011 at 9:21 AM

    HOLY MOLY, I'm glad I surfed to you blog today. What to say? Hang tough, shoot me a private email anytime you feel the urge. {{hugs}}I can send my phone # if you need someone to just listen. I'm good at that. BTW, we helped a friend get AMNET w/ just her passport. Daughter swears you can get a prepaid cell at ICE too.

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  5. Casey BahrMay 18, 2011 at 7:50 PM

    Mary Lynn,

    Not a great way to start the rainy season. :( Let us know if we can help in any way. Yes, a corporation will allow you to set up the utilities and get on CAJA, but it has a few hassles of its own. You need a lawyer to get it set up (and I'd recommend you get a 2nd recommended lawyer to look at what the first did). After that the care and feeding can be done by you and if you do so it will save you a ton of money over what the lawyers and accounts charge. I can fill you in on details.

    Best wishes coming your way!!

    Pura vida,

    Casey

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  6. Mary LynnMay 24, 2011 at 2:50 PM

    Thanks Casey and Jen! I can use all the help I can get. I am doing better at the moment, but some days are better than others. I will get in touch with both of you, thanks for the offers of help. I am feeling just a tad bit lost.

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  7. VivianJuly 10, 2011 at 10:20 AM

    Hi Mary Lynn,
    Came upon your site and hope that life is looking up for you. Sorry about the breakup; not easy, I know. Just wanted to touch base as I am considering a move to the San Isidro area and will be there in a week (July 19) to stay with a friend and check things out. Would you like to meet up at some point for a coffee? Am in the process of talking with people who live there to get a broader perspective. Currently I live in Seattle and as a boomer looking for a life change, and weather change (!), CR holds a lot of possibility for me. I was there in Feb. with family and loved it. I can be reached at vcmurray@hotmail.com Hope to hear from you. Pura Vida! ~Vivian

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